To my surprise, my husband explained that as long as his viral load has been undetectable for six months, he is unable unable to pass HIV along through S3-x and as long as he continues to take his HIV treatments and remain undetectable. He says he can have s3-x without a condom without worrying about passing HIV to anyone.
So I asked him why didn’t he tell me about his discovery, he said, he was just being careful cos he loves me and does not want to take any chances with me, that is why he would not make love to me without condom but he would take his chances with a complete stranger. I was angry but what he said made sense but what about getting someone else pregnant?
My husband was able to convince the girl to get an abortion, he showed me the proof that he took her for an abortion. Mind you, I do not support my husband cheating or lying about his HIV status. After that incident, my husband has been trying to make love with me without using a condom. I am scared.
I know it can be safe but it can also be dangerous. He is begging me to allow him a few times, cos he does not want to cheat on me again. That girls are throwing themselves at him and he is facing temptation daily.
Few days ago, he tried to pene-trate and I discovered he didn’t use protection, I got angry and pushed him away. He also got angry and started staying rubbish…that if I cant satisfy him s3-xually, maybe we should just part ways…or let him sleep with other women that will give him what he wants…that its like I want to keep punishing him cos he has HIV. That he cannot live the rest of his life like this.
I cried and cried cos I know how frustrating he feels but I cannot put my life in danger. My husband has barely spoken to me since two days ago. I spoke to my doctor and he repeated the same thing. He said the drugs my husband is taking can keep us safe but that its not 100% guarantee. He also said that if I have unprotected s3-x with my husband or anyone else, I must continue to test every 3 months for HIV.
Everyone is saying the ball is in my court. That I either choose to remain in this marriage and face the risk or leave the marriage so my husband can marry someone that can s3-xually satisfy him. My husband is saying if I truly love him and have forgiven him, I will do this for him…
Is this not emotional blackmail? How do I stay and let him fv-cck whoever he wants, just so he does not put my life in danger? Or actually put my life in danger to prove my love for him? . am I being selfish?…I am afraid…Is this worth the risk? Should I leave the marriage? What should I do please?