That even when that one colleague asked her why she would go after a married man, she replied, I am not forcing him, he is the one married and needs to be faithful, that she has no reason to be faithful. This girl went to say that she is very sorry for telling me things about my husband but she knows that this same supervisor of her is one without shame. That she had an affair with another colleague’s boyfriend and got that one fired because she is a supervisor.
This girl stated that the supervisor is mean to alot of her colleagues and she is evil minded. That she wants me to pray against any of the girl’s manipulation of my husband. I listened to this girl and thanked her. I was furious and embarrassed. Embarrassed that a common supermarket sales girl was talking about my marriage and furious because I didn’t know how to handle the matter.
So, I chatted with this same girl and told her to text me the supervisor’s no. She did and I used my husband’s phone to flash the girl’s number. He saved her number as Funmi contractor. I was livid. I checked his chats and saw that the girl was offering him s3x already. She sent her pictures of her breasts already. The rest of the chat was deleted. I am sure, I would have seen more crazy chats if they were not deleted.
When I confronted my husband, he denied everything I asked him about the girl until I showed him a screenshot of their last chat. He said maybe someone was framing him and I told him I would leave and divorce him immediately. He then said, he didn’t give her his no but she got it from the supermarket computer.
When I told him everyone was talking about them in the supermarket, he held his head and said…babe, I am sorry…I was stupid…I should not have given her my no…but I swear….I never reached out to her…she has been the one forcing herself on me. My husband and I had a long talk…he explained that while he may seem like he is playing with these girls, he can never stoop so low to actually sleep with any of them. That he is just playing, that I have no reason to worry cos he will never cross the boundaries.
Now, this his defense….I believe…but it is an expensive play…and what I cannot wrap my head around is: why my husband cannot stand his ground. Must you be this playful? The play to him is disrespect to me. He said I am just being unreasonable. That its normal for men to play or flirt with women…that any man who says they dont do that are lying or they are castrated.
Yes, girls are desperate…but if you cannot stand your ground, he is disrespecting me and I cannot tolerate that. My husband believes that until I catch him sleeping with another woman, then its not cheating. That its like window shopping….he is looking but not buying….what a chauvinistic perspective…. its really annoying me…When I spoke to someone about it….someone like an elder, he said, men are like that…wives just have to learn to look away and not let the situation bother them.
This matter is bothering me. I cannot stop these girls from coming for my man but the fact that my man thinks its funny to entertain them is my problem. Why cant married men stop this shit? My dad is a fine man too…I have never seen him disrespect my mother. I do not know what to so about this…if my husband continues like this…this might be enough reason for me to leave.
It may be a minor reason for some people but I am big on respect. We are married…respect our vows…respect your wife…stop entertaining hungry girls. How hard is it to say no? Am I being overly paranoid? Or am I supposed to just live with this? Is my standard or expectation too high?
When I asked him what if I was the one flirting, he laughed and said he will not be bothered. Well, maybe because he knows I can never do that…also, I cannot help but feel that my husband’s bad behavior is maybe because I am pregnant and may not be as attractive as I should be looking or as s3xy as I should be in bed…my husband says my pregnancy hormones are making me over react…am I over reacting?
Please advice me because thinking about this is causing serious trust issues in my marriage. I need your advise. I am loosing my mind.